Fun Pants, The Devil Himself, and “how are you?” postpartum edition
But how are you really?
No daylight has been saved
Hey friends! Happy Sunday to everyone except the devil himself, who created daylight savings. Why on EARTH are we still doing this? Whoever is in charge of deciding if we keep this ridiculous practice, I promise you, they do not have a baby. Please see the image below on how I plan to deal later today.
I absolutely loved all the messages I got last week in response to my post last week about not being ready for kids. I got so many messages from Your GroupChat friends needing encouragement while on their pregnancy journey, and how the ‘Just Wait’ piece landed with them. One friend of Your GroupChat shared, “At 1 year out and I have to add - just wait till they look at you and say MAMA. Just wait till they hang onto your hand while they try to toddle around. Just wait till they laugh when you tickle them. Just wait till they try JELLO for the first time and love it!”
This week Your Groupchat is talking about FUN PANTS! And how to answer “how are you” when you’re postpartum, and the inner dialogue I’m currently having.
Thanks for being part of Your GroupChat! If someone hasn’t told you today already, you’re doing a great job 🧡
FUN PANTS!
As a millennial, a core identity I have from my 20’s is going out in skinny jeans and a fun flowy top. This has extended to my child who I now dress in a basic tee and fun pants 90% of the time. Makes an outfit so easy! Here are some fun pants I’ve found & own!
These tencil balloon pants from Oori Noa. Sizes for baby and toddlers
Simply cannot with these Jody Fleece Pants in Hearts and Cherry from KONGES SLØJD
These Leopard Horseshoe Jeans from The Gap
These too cute for words Tomato Pants from Canadian brand Pidgeon Said Please [come in 1Y-8Y size!]
These VERY FUN Shoreline Gingham Lodge Balloon Pants from Organic Zoo also with a matching top
Friend of Your GroupChat Steph shared another Spanish brand, The Capamento which has these very fun Big Flower Corduroy pants for toddlers
In my chronic online shopping for baby stuff, I have seen so many collabs with Bobo Choses which is a really nice Spanish brand that’s well crafted and known for their fun graphics. I love these Baby Sun Turquoise Joggings
These Patchwork Traveller Pants are so fun and 100% organic cotton from Organic Zoo and have a matching top
Also from Pidgeon Said Please, these adorable 100% cotton Lottie Striped Pants! Mom can match too
And these Big Flowers Baby Jogging pants from The Capamento
These Mini Terry Pants from Atmosea [come in multiple fun colours]
Or these Fresa Jersey Basic Leggings with Berries from FLÖSS are toooo cute!
Or these Horseshoe Jeans with the little heart pocket from The Gap!
“How are you?” the postpartum edition
I’ve been thinking a lot about how to describe where I am. In the natural flow of catching up with people, there is the inevitable, “How are you doing?” There are two conversations that happen with that question. One, with moms who have been where you have before or close friends and are really saying, “I see you, how are you really coping? You can share the dark stuff with me, don’t worry”. And others who are not yet parents or have never been parents, and are asking out of curiosity or politeness.
I noticed myself always saying “good!” or “great!” or “it’s wild, and so great, and so life changing,” etc etc, like a canned response that comes out of me without a second thought. Like I’m zoning out and will respond the same way no matter what. And it got me thinking: how am I really? How do you describe postpartum at this stage, at 7 months out? My son is no longer a newborn, but still so small and dependent. He is not eating 24x a day, but he is still very much new to this world.
Describing postpartum and how my inner world feels, is like living in a 8 magnitude earthquake, everything around you is violently shaking, you’re clinging to a shaking door frame upside down, and you look at the person next to you say, “are you feeling this?! Are you feeling this cataclysmic change that is happening?!?” and the other person responds with, “feeling what?”
On the outside, I look the same, just with darker underbags, a rounder face, and a stomach that very much had a baby in it 7 months ago. But inside, it is like I’ve moved to a new planet. I am on Mars, charting life alone in a foreign land. How do you put into words an eternal change in your inner world, that on the outside looks very similar, but just with a small version of you that rolls around on the floor?
The answer is, you don’t. Or, I don’t. I say, “I’m good!” because the real answer is, I’m forever changed, and I just truly do not know how yet. It’s like the circle of who I am is not complete. It’s still forming. I’m very much IN the sauce.
Motherhood is the ultimate life in duality. I find myself saying to my husband often, two things can be true at once. I am both more fulfilled than I have ever been in my life, and still lost in the sauce of who I am now. I am both trying to stay deeply present with the day to day evolution of my son, and honestly, spacing out some of the time because there are only so many times I can pull a tissue out of a box and it be exciting. I have never in my life felt more myself, confident, and at peace with myself, and still truly discovering WHO I am now. I am both exhausted and can’t sleep deeply. I am more settled in myself than ever before, and still feel like a completely unknown version of myself.
Before I gave birth, and in the immediate months after giving birth, I would read posts on Instagram from new moms about how they ‘felt lost’ or didn’t know who they were. And, I honestly didn’t relate. In the adrenaline of those early weeks of having a newborn, I felt like I was just me, but with this little baby. I think only now, that my son is mostly sleeping, I have feeding under control, that in that two-hour space where he naps in the morning, that I actually have the pause to catch my breath and say “whoa… I’m really different inside.” In good ways. And in ways I don’t know yet.
My world is forever changed in the best way, and in ways I just don’t know yet. I am holding space for the reality of being both very myself and very lost all at once. And if any of that at all resonates, I’m sitting with you in the in-between.
This video really shows what I’m trying to articulate ^
Weekly mooooood board
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Friend of Your GroupChat Steph started a substack, Grief & Groceries, a newsletter about love, loss, and nourishment. Steph is a beautiful writer and cook. Give her a read!
See you next week!
Thanks for being part of Your GroupChat, I appreciate you more than you know! If you’ve got a friend that might enjoy this, get a giggle out of it, or is searching for a perfect product recco, send it over! See you in your inbox next week 💌